Tuesday

It's not twelfth night yet, so - pre-Epiphany  - I'm still on Xmas time. When we were very small kids we would have our main gift held back until Jan 6th - usually, we'd be back at school so it was quite frustrating. My folks gave up in the end.

I worked at home yesterday because the weather was so bad. It proved to be a very productive day and I produced one finished project that I'm actually quite proud of. Another projected ended with me being told how to design by a client who has no idea what he's talking about on a job I'm doing for basically nothing as a favour. Starting to remember why I hate my job sometimes.

It's pissing down again and I have to wait at home for a parcel today. The house smells damp and water is coming in under the door frames and the window ledges. I can't really complain - people are getting it much worse than me - but the last thing I need is more water damage. It's very disheartening. I went out into the garden earlier and it's totally waterlogged. The soil here is an ugly, dirty mix of clay and sand - 2 feet down it's hard packed clay. There is water everywhere and things are starting to fall over and be pushed out of the ground.

Last night - for the first time in months - small dog didn't wee in the house. It's a red letter day, she had previously wee'd in the kitchen - the only room she hadn't already soiled..

I managed my first complete meal last night since Xmas day. Pasta. I made the sauce myself, but wish I'd bought one instead, it was OK but quite bland. Last week I bought some sun-dried tomatoes in a supermarket - I wanted to cheer myself up. I remember the first time I ever tried them - I would have been in my 20's. It was like the first time I had ever actually tasted a tomato. The girl on the till looked at me as if to say 'have we run out of fresh ones?'. As I walked back out into the wind, rain and dark at 5pm - I just thought I must be kidding myself... what was I thinking. It was pure Mike Leigh.

Last night I found an old iPod shuffle that I've never actually used - the clip-on version. I spent about half an hour trying to remember how to use it. That done - I spent some time adding about 100 tracks at random that I liked. It was a very weird experience - re-acquainting myself with the past. I really need to do more of that - reminding myself who and what I was before the accident, I've kinda forgotten to have feelings about anything so listening to music that I used to love was quite a big deal. Afterwards I looked through a few films - and made an effort to find this. It's the last 10 mins of the first season of the TV drama 'Life on Mars' - and very probably the most perfect piece of television ever.

One of my clients has ignored two of my emails. They always do that and apologise profusely for being really busy next time I see them. It would be much easier to just say 'thanks' at the time.

At some point this week I must catch up on 'War and Peace' and 'Detschland'


I'd forgotten how awful "Women's Hour" can be.