The Christmas that wasn't.

It’s New Years Eve - I have just had some dry toast - first attempt at eating all xmas week. It was OK.

I spent 2 months of this years stuck at home, unable to eat, in a lot of pain and zonked out on drugs - I thought I’d done my bit. Spending the whole of xmas in the same state really wasn’t fair, I resent it.

I just made some soup - essentially it’s chicken soup without the chicken - hopefully I’ll be OK with that later today. I’m obviously not going out later - I have had several invitations - and I could have earned quite a lot of money working tonight - but I’ve had to turn it down. I resent that too.

I had a lot planned this week. Work, admin, house stuff, getting my head around what happened over the last year, but mostly I’ve been doubled up in pain, in the bathroom or drifting in and out of sleep. At least I was on my own. The regular, but very short dog walks have kept me sane. Aside from a day when I felt brave enough to help with a wheelchair and spend an hour with my mate who’s mum died on Boxing day - it’s been me and the 4 walls.

There are a couple of things digital that I’ve been asked to do this morning - so I’m gearing up for that - and I threw all the food in the house away - nothing lasts. I’m going out shortly to buy a big bottle of Coke because people keep suggesting it. I’ll be fine in a coulee of days - by which time I’ll be back in the studio.

Last night’s ‘Screen Wipe’ with Charlie Booker wasn’t very funny - because 2015 wasn’t very funny either.

Someone I know a bit has been given an OBE for community services, including to help save our pier. Sian Phillips deserved a Damehood (if that’s the right word). But Damon Albarn???

The house is a mess - just started the first of about 20 loads of washing - dog hair coats everything. I’ve not attempted to check my bank balance so I may well be too overdrawn to pay my bills. Trust me - nobody pays their invoices over xmas. I had planned to do a lot of financial planning this week - I can barely add up at the moment.

I’m sure tat you don’t need all this grief from me - I’m determined to cheer up now - after today I can put 2015 behind me - it really was an incredibly shit year. At least we are still here - I am grateful for that - under the circumstances.