Monday, 20 July 2015


I had to speak to a doctor's receptionist earlier - I've always really struggled with my dislike of them, I seem to always get the 'bad' ones. The seem to really hate me. I actually have to ring back again tomorrow to see if my test results have arrived, apparently - my being a bit 'confused' and in a lot of pain on Friday 'made things difficult' for her.

Tomorrow - I'm going to try solid food. That really is as pathetic as it sounds. 10 days on water and the occasional milky drink through a straw has worn me down. I don't even feel hungry but as has been pointed out - I have lost a lot of weight.

I went to the COOP earlier to buy milk, and one of the nicer, chattier assistants was in there - I had to start explaining what had happened and found myself mumbling and wishing I had an alternative conversation stopper 'attacked by a grizzly bear' - something like that.

Last night I tried to watch a couple of documentaries - I managed about 15 mins each, one was about the black death and one was about the excavations in London around the Crossrail dig. I gave up on both because they seemed to be just padding, background music, bad voiceovers, pointless reconstruction and a complete and total lack of anything factual or informative. I forgot how bad TV could be. Later I found myself dozing off to a youtube film 'Nazi's at the centre of the earth' - It had more going for it.

It's been cool, wet, foggy and still all day, like November - we get days like that because of the sea - I think tomorrow will e hot and sunny.

I need to call the doctor again tomorrow - If I have to go in again I'll stay home - if not I may try and go to work for an hour. I am supposed to go to a planning event tomorrow night - they want to add 6 stories to the old building next to my studio. I specifically want to see my doctor again because the corner of my mouth hasn't healed properly and there is about a centimeter cut at 90 degrees to the corner of my mouth. It's pulled the rest of my bottom lip into a funny shape and, wait for it... it leaks when I drink. It needs fixing, but really - one step at a time.

I'm getting bored and irritable now. One of the medication I'm taking is making me wooly headed and vague and it's really difficult to type, I'm not I'm so much pain now and I think it might be one of them so I'll ask if I can stop. It really doesn't suit me. I honestly don't know how people can live like this - the doctor told me that the pain stuff I'm on is similar to Tramadol, which I've only ever heard about anecdotally. I've been passing the time by mostly sleeping, it's not a way of life I relish.

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