Saturday

Exhausted after a solid week of very detailed and difficult work. I'm supposed to be going to a party tonight - in two minds about it already, not in the right frame of mind, although I doubt that the chap having the party is feeling any better, he's being deported next week, so I should go, really.

My neighbour has put up xmas decorations in their garden shed.

Woken up tired and very tetchy, seem to be on the edge of losing my temper with everything. I've been contacted by someone fighting a very big copyright case that directly involves me and some work I did 17 years ago, and as I'm apparently the only person who has keep anything like a decent record or archive, it's a bit of a worry. There was an article about it in the Independent newspaper last week. I'll have to give it some proper thought.

Apparently, I'm being urged to be on 'teamNigella'  - as I absolutly cannot stand the woman - so there isn't much hope of that happening. Can't stand her X husband either. I also can't stand Tom Daley, who I've always thought of as an annoying little prick, so I'll keep my head down. I suppose I feel a bit sorry for him too, the papers have been making him into a product since he was about 14 years old, sexualising and homo-eroticising him in a way that is, frankly, bloody creepy. I hope he has the sense and opportunity to keep his private live to himself - but I don't think he has much chance.

The local chap who repairs my computers and deals with refurbished Macs etc has sent a round-robin email announcing that he's having a sex change and asking people to respect his decision and refer to him only in his new gender, which is fair enough. It was a simple, well written message via a public forum, so Tim is now Clare, and that's fine by me.

I've grown a beard for a couple of months - it's very impressive. One of the guys in the studio is the same age as me, has 4 kids, two of them are adults and have their own families, yesterday we both had almost identical outfits on, he said to me 'you look like I will in 5 years'. I was quite wounded by that. I saw someone I know quite well for the first time in a few months, she said to me 'you look so thin, are you ill'? Is it any wonder that I never go out?

My water rates bill has been joined by a phone bill and a studio bill, and shortly my mobile phone bill and the bill for my software licences. Just getting out of bed in the morning is an unsustainable lifestyle.