Tuesday

It’s now been exactly a year since my accident and I think I can put it behind me now, I’m about as far down that road as I need to be. This is as good as I’m going to get and that’s fine. At the weekend I caught sight of myself unexpectedly in the mirror, I was feeling pretty run down anyway and I thought I looked awful. Old and tired. Just for a moment I thought I looked dead, and I had this weird, sudden Idea that I might actually be dead after all - which could explain why I seem to be going nowhere at the moment. Fortunately it passed.

I’m not expecting to earn any money this week but I’m really busy anyway. I seem to have an awful lot to do. Mostly stuff I’d rather leave alone.

A client has asked me to send them some work from a job I did a few years back, a brand I designed that was sold on and closed - they want to use the same artwork for a new brand. They did pay at the time so technically the work belongs to them - but it’s indicative of how little people care about creative work or freelancers, essentially I’m working for free and they just don’t get it. I get that a lot.

I have 20 prints in the Brick Lane (Hastings Jerwood) Art Car Boot fair on Saturday - I’m really looking forward to it - I have no idea where I got the confidence to put my work into this show - I must be mad. If I sell at least half of them I’ll cover costs.

Everyone's is falling out with everyone at the moment over politics. It’s depressing and disturbing. I’m beginning to really hate everyone. Even people I know well and like are talking rabid shite.

It’s my birthday on Thursday - I really want to get that out of the way, and I have commitments on Friday and Saturday - I want to get that all out of the way too - and hopefully wake up on Sunday morning see of all the crap that’s been holding me back for years.