Sunday

Non stop over the last few days, dealing with other people, their shit, their needs and not having time to think about myself. I was at home by 4pm on my birthday, watched a couple of films and went to bed. Mostly pissed off by being harassed by clients and people who knew I wanted to take the day off, putting their needs before my own. On Friday I had to manage the lead up to the Art Car Boot fair in Hastings, collecting people, moving them about, making sure they were happy - and then sitting back as other people took over when the work was all done. I know a few very selfish, self absorbed people I just want out of my life but the politics are too much. They don’t even have entertainment value. I needed to chaperone someone in the evening - which involved spending part of the evening with someone I can’t bear - and later was far too tired and pissed off to enjoy the hour I spent at a drinks event I was supposed to go to (for me!) - so I went home.

The Event on Saturday was enjoyable but hard work - again, too many cooks. Tracy Emin sold 500 really shit posters, each one just a crappy print of an old piece of work - signed by her in big letters with a silver pen - each at £50, that’s 25k in 3 hours - for nothing - people were queuing up to buy 10 at a time. They are already on ebay at 300 each. I sold a few pieces and broke even on the incredibly expensive print and paper I used - there were about 70 stalls there and frankly, I thought the quality was quite poor - there was so much, it was basically all wallpaper and white noise. It was also unbearably hot.

I’ve not been feeling too great recently - I get very tired around lunch time and a bit shaky, yesterday I felt particularly disorientated and had to leave for an hour. Probably a combination of being very run down, stressed, pissed off and the combination of heat and crowds.

Afterward, a couple I’m close to had a row and split up dramatically - which rather upset me (They have since made up). Someone took a photo of me and put it on Facebook - I look terrible. Really bad. There were people there I know who are older than me and look fine, I look like the walking dead.

An odd thing. I went to a wedding last week - I’m very fond of the bride, she’s a good friend. She was married before - her X Husband is OK and we get on, he left his wife for another woman  - who I also get on with - but obviously, there are politics there. they have since separated. She’s now with someone else, and introduced me to him. He’s called Andy. He grew up a few streets away from me in Wales, we are distantly related and he followed me to both Camberwell and RCA, he now lives in Hastings - seeing him turn up was… weird. It’s a small world.

Amber Rudd turned up at the event. I had to hide, she was surrounded by sycophants and photographers. The music was provided in part by the artist Martin Creed - it was a 5/10 situation.

I had a conversation with my neighbour last week - his house needs as much work as mine. I knew he spent a lot of time in London - it turns out he’s the assistant to the artist Marcus Harvey and often works for Wolfgang Tillmans.

It’s Sunday, Pirate day in Hastings - another absurd and freakish event. 30,000 people dressed as pirates. Insane and just another excuse to drink.

I have to deal with a lot of crap next week and put some work proposals together. There is one I have to write on Monday that will be very difficult. I won’t get the job - but i want to be put on the roster of people they ask to quote, I have the difficult job of deciding how and where I pitch myself. Too cheap - a mistake.

The spell checker on Simple Text changes many of the words I type into random collections of gibberish - it’s not all my fault.

There is a work thing I need to decide on that is politically very difficult - I want to turn it down flat - I was offended to be asked to do it for a number of reasons - In have to think that through. Frankly - I could just walk away from it all now.