Tuesday, 12 January 2016

Tuesday evening

I've moved my desk into the front room, and both of the computers I use at home - I'll be here now until the late spring - this room is easier to heat than anywhere else and the dogs like being on the sofa when I'm in here. I'm basically living in one room - rushing to the kitchen or bathroom only when necessary as the temperature drops below acceptable.

Today was a total write off. There was no broadband at work and some idiot builders were using power tools right outside - mostly a saw, chopping wood all day - right outside the window. I gave up at about noon and started home, caught up with a friend for a cup of coffee first, and came back to a cold house and two bad tempered dogs.

I checked my bank balance - it's not good. Additionally - I've had to pay a load of bank charges because I'd forgotten that some small payments each month are on my card rather than direct debits. Software licenses and a three quid a month film streaming service. It's all because of that stupid girl losing my bank card just before xmas, as the card number has now changed.

I had to write some really awkward emails this morning to clients who have either stalled on work or just not bothered paying. I'm expected to be professional, accommodating, calm and helpful all the time - alas - it doesn't work both ways.

The Hall / Murdock engagement is, quite frankly, hilarious. Of course - they may actually be in love, or at least have found some form of companionship they both crave - I'll give anyone the benefit of the doubt. But really. Just....

It's about 8.30 PM - I'm vaguely thinking about collating my invoices from this year so far and checking them against my bank statements - I want to make sure I'm ready for April, I can't see myself paying tax next year - I have already pre-paid quite a bit and after expenses and allowances - I'll probably have nothing to pay. There are people in the studio who still have not submitted 2014/15 - and one who has the most unreasonable and bizarre concept of what 'allowable' expenses actually are. (no - not every pint you have drunk this year, even with a receipt).

My neighbours have decorated their front room - to make space they have had to place their giant fish tank in the bay window - it's seriously as big as a small car and lit from within. This bothers me - I don't understand captive animals. I can also hear the giant bird of prey that my other neighbour keeps in his shed, squawking in the night. I hate listening to it - it really upsets me - it's now my main reason for wanting to move house.

Talking of which - according to an online service - my house price is hovering around 50% equity, that's an improvement on the negative equity I had in 2008. Obviously they have not seen inside, it would be a fraction of that if they had the chance to check it over - I'm due my mortgage statement any day now and I'm hoping to get a lot closer to £80k or even below. It's still not enough to move and as my income has taken such a bashing - I'll find it almost impossible to get a decent mortgage now - but if everything falls apart this year - which I'm seriously thinking it might - I can probably live for a couple of years in a rented flat before I fade into total obscurity or a railway arch. In other news - I've managed to pay back half of the small bank loan I took out after I was ill - although I had hoped that getting back to work would have been easier.

I've actually been feeling pretty depressed for a couple of days now - and quite detached from everything. I was warned to expect that at around the 6 month mark, so I'm just setting it aside as residual damage more than anything else and parking it in the background.

The bloke on the news shouting at a junior doctor on a picket line, seems to be angry that a doctor wasn't there for him, right now, as he clicked his fingers. Missed the point that a doctor was there for him the day he was born, and probably much before - and will be there for him the day he dies.

I'm rambling now.

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