Sunday

I am in a weird position where I've been very busy over the weekend, 'doing stuff' and now there is nothing left to do -except all the really difficult stuff - mostly financial, and I can't face it. I should watch a film or something - Monday tomorrow - deal with it then - but I can't settle.

I have done quite a bit over the last 2 days - building up some social networking profiles (have even been populating my Instagram account and tomorrow it will be Flickr) - I have even been wrestling with Linkedin - which I hate. I hadn't realised how much junk I've cleared from this house over the last 6 months - it's practically empty and devoid of dust collecting opportunities. I even have a fairly tidy spare room.

Te social networking stuff is to attempt to make myself more amenable to new clients, I had to grit my teeth there. I'm not getting work because people assume I'm either too busy or too expensive - and the work I am getting, I'm grossly underpaid for. It's probably all my fault, somehow. The end result is that - along with the disaster of the last 6 months - I have very little self-confidence left and I'm letting people walk all over me. I'm also putting on a good front.

I cut all my hair and beard off earlier - it wasn't looking great - as long as I can wear a woolly hat I'll be fine. We had snow last night - not that much, didn't stay on the ground more than a few hours - but I didn't enjoy it. I've run out of childish wonderment.

I'm going to a Bowie night later in the week - I'm actually looking forward to it. This week is going to be really difficult - I'm not looking forward to it at all.