Tuesday, 20 May 2014


I have a pretty good ear for dialogue - so this is as close to the truth as possible. 

Overheard on the train. "I said to her, yes, I'll have beans on toast, and she said, how fucking many, one or two, and I thought she meant how many fucking pieces of fucking toast, so I said two, and the bitch only went and gave me two fucking tins of beans with my fucking toast, and I said what are you fucking doing, and she said, well, I thought you were getting a bit fucking fat, I mean, what a fucking bitch, my own fucking mother, how fucking dare she, and I only had to eat the fucking thing to keep her fucking happy, and now my fucking guts are killing me, the fucking bitch".

I can tell you - she was huge.

I was in Brighton for a briefing, I'm very busy now - had totally forgotten that it was a bank holiday weekend.

In Brighton, the first thing I saw was tall, not particularly slim but healthy looking girl, trying very hard to be hip and trendy - she wore neon trainers, black leggings, neon leg warmers, had huge hair, an elaborate headband with shells and beads, and a giant sweatshirt with bat wing sleeves and a photographic print of a husky dog on the front - she looked EXACTLY like someone from THIS VIDEO. This whole 80's thing MUST STOP.

There is a fashion in Brighton - trendy kids with expensive clothes and really, really bad 'chavvy' tattoos, intentionally crappy, like something off the fairground, but worse. The station stank of weed. Brighton was full of men in tight sweatpants who had spent all winter in the gym.

The man next to me on the train had 3 iphones and a kindle - he was playing Candy Crush on 2 iphones at the same time.

I was in a good mood, so I went round the junk shops, and was pleased with myself for not buying anything, so pleased I then rewarded myself by buying a pair of dark brown Loakes Brogues, reduced from £180 to £90. I will never learn.

I saw the girl with surgically adjusted Pixie ears, they look like they have gone 'wrong'.

I watched the Dylan Thomas film last night - it was good, mainly for 2 things, they did a fantastic job of splicing in vintage film stock and matching the colour balance - and Ewan Bremner was exceptional - never realised what  great actor he was.

Spent part of the evening on the phone talking to a solicitor about the legal copyright case I'm involved in, seemed nice enough - who pays if I have to start going to Birmingham to give statements and everything?

Spent £6 on a little case for the hard drive from an old MacBook - it now plugs into any computer and is a spare hard drive, with all the content and software complete - it's going to be really useful. The local pound shop is selling Belkin USB superdrive cables - gold contacts - the genuine article - list price £14.00... for, you guessed it... £1. Bought several.

Don't know if I mentioned - there is going to be Pizza Hut in the village - next door to the posh fish and chip shop and the KFC. Never eat there myself - but quite content. In Victorian times, Ore Village had a theatre and lots of ale houses - it was considered proper to have such gaudy treats outside the town centre - a bit like Brixton was, probably just history repeating. There are also unsubstantiated rumours of a Sainsburys.

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