Thursday, 26 September 2013


This week has been hot, humid and quite unpleasant. My appointment tomorrow in London has been postponed AGAIN (I'm starting to think it won't happen) and I have a lot of boring stuff to catch up on. I don't like this weather - I wish it would cool down a bit - I'm having real trouble sleeping and when I do, I have bad dreams, last night I dreamt I was a subject of Queen Elizabeth 1st, played by Cate Blanchette, of course - and I ended up executed.

I've been working hard, including something that came in from a record company that will make me popular with the 'yoof' - if they find out how old I am they will pull the plug, but they seem happy enough - another triumph for working remotely.

When it gets dark at night - I just want to go to bed, because it was dark at about 7.30pm last night, and I was tired - I started watching a film in bed - there was a knock at the front door ( directly below my bedroom window - why anyone would knock at a house in darkness is beyond me ) so I opened the window and looked down, and a young man wearing a Cancer Research tabard  and carrying a clipboard looked up. (you know the type - chuggers)

"Hi, I'm calling on behalf of Cancer Research" - he said
"..and I'm in bed" - I said

He clearly wasn't expecting this - I know that they are trained to have something to say in every possible situation, I think that on THIS occasion - his recall let him down and he came out with...

"Oh, ok, would you like a big spoon to come up and join you"

I wasn't expecting this either - and just stared at him aghast for a moment, wondering where this could possibly go next - giving him enough time to register what he'd just said, very probably something he usually says to his girlfriend, and giving him the chance to mumble an embarrassed apology and wander off into the night - possibly to have a little cry.

It's not the first time I've had a strange experience with these people - their training leaves a lot to be desired. One girl from an animal charity came knocking and was so drunk she couldn't speak properly and there was a cloud of alcohol fumes around her that made her a fire risk, another girl from Amnesty International burst into tears because I was the only person who had actually put any money in the envelope and hadn't abused her all day, and I've had several people who REFUSE to give up - one bloke was so determined to engage me in conversation I had to ask him to leave before I punched him, he was getting increasingly aggressive 'I LIKE DOGS, LET'S TALK ABOUT DOGS INSTEAD, THEY HAVE DOGS IN AFRICA TOO" etc.

I'm supposed to see the live streaming of Othello at the cinema tonight (from the National Theatre) - but, truth be told, I never liked the play - and despite the rave reviews, I can think of better things to do with 15 quid.

I have a client who has been away and I'm pretty sure they will want to catch up today - and being in my own studio today and tomorrow gives me time to make sure everything is up to date. It's already crawling towards the end of the month - and that just means more bills - next month, buildings and contents insurance, dog insurance, mortgage, studio, software licence, mobile phone, council tax. It never ends.

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