Friday, 14 June 2013


Have the morning off, just as well - I'm knackered.

Really enjoyed 'The Audience' last night - but not 'the' audience - who were mostly composed of dim, middle class wankers and old people who didn't really know what day it was. A woman a few seats away kept clapping for no reason ( she was the only one who did, this being the cinema - perhaps she was confused by the technology and assumed that as it was live and that Helen Mirren could see us too and would appreciate her clapping ) During the break a very camp gay bloke came over to talk to the fluffy fag hag behind me - and introduced his new partner - and gave everyone a rundown of their week - which mostly included posh pub lunches followed by posh dinners followed by drinks on the terrace somewhere - except for yesterday - when, despite booking lunch at the Old Queen's Head in Iklesham 'SHE wanted to be seen out on the town' - I really despise gay men who refer to each other in the female gender. Most of the audience whispered during the play, dim things like "Is that Tony Blair" - "No, it's David Cameron - you can tell by the shoes" and "it doesn't look anything like her - the real Queen is much more regal". By far the most annoying moment came when ANOTHER middle class gay man - over excited by an advert for a live stream of Coriolanus later in the year ( Starring Tom Hiddlesdon and ...erm ... Mark Gattiss.... ) exclaimed, really loudly "OOOOHHH, Mark Gattis, I love him, he's marvellous - he wrote Sherlock, you know - I think he wrote this one too".

The play itself was as good as I expected, Mirren seemed very committed and fully absorbed into the role - she was very good, the supporting cast were either very good or very bad, the actors playing the most recent Prime Ministers the weakest - Cameron in particular was crap, but all in all - I thought it was a good play, lightweight - but what do you expect, there is never going to be anything more interesting while she is still alive. Curiously - Mirren has the same ankles at the real Queen. The only problem for me was how close the camera came - too close, I would have been much happier watching it on stage - it would have been more convincing. The intro and interval was handled by Emma Freud, who is a fucking moron. A gibbering idiot - gushing and preening, asking the writer some of the most inane and annoying questions - to his obvious annoyance, and wearing a stupid jewelled headband, like a 5 year old at a Barbie themed party. She can fuck off.

Yesterday - Linkedin (something I hate and don't understand) became self aware and sent out invitations to everyone in my address book - and hundreds of people I don't actually know and have never heard of, it's been annoying and embarrassing - I hate it. Have had to field a lot of pissed of strangers and send out a lot of apologies.

Lost my temper last night - my Facebook page is strictly for entertainment and lightweight social discourse, yesterday several people I know re-posted a photograph of two young men in Iran being executed because they had been accused of being gay. (almost ) Everyone who posted it with the usual 'oh my god, this is so awful - we should boycot someones, make it viral' is straight, middle class, secure, solvent and generally - not a deep thinker - they get off on making themselves look worthy and caring - it's the pornography of guilt, it's really easy to make a stand about something you don't really understand or have to be too challenged by. "look at me - I care - I get scared too - can you believe there was no coriander in Waitrose today!!!" They should try seeing it from the other side, I already know what's happening in the rest of the world - I don't need to see them make it into a badge of worthy honour.

I fell out really badly a couple of years ago with someone who told me, with an overtone of the worst kind of ignorant well meaning, that Hastings must be 'the worst place in the world to be gay' - last time I looked - they didn't hang us from lamposts or put burning tyres round our necks. Someone making themselves feel better by posting a photograph of two ordinary looking young men in freshly pressed white shirts being hung from their necks while people take photographs on their iphones is a great way to piss me off.

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