What day is it?

What could have been a brilliant new year comes to an end with the well named 'winter vomiting virus'. I think I may have internal bruising from all the violent spasm that come with dry heaving. Coming home from London yesterday by train was the worst experience of my life - the last 5 mins in a Taxi as the driver repeated tried to engage me in a conversation about his income was beyond endurance. I'm going to draw a veil over all that and go back to bed shortly - having successfully moved all my work commitments to next week - I need to sleep.

My New year was actually quite good, drank hardly anything ( 2 pints at the NYE party we left at 10m ) and a coulpe after the play. Went to see 'People' at the National Theatre, new Alan Bennet play - the set was fantastic, and just proves that we have some of the most skilled and creative people in the world here - including a genius optical effect that lasted 5 mins and wasn't really needed - but got a bigger gasp than any of the performances, the play being set in a dilapidated country house - which goes through full restoration and the final reveal includes a huge 'mirror' at the back of the stage - reflecting the rest of the ballroom ( where the audience would be sitting ) - very clever piece of optical manipulation and foreshortening. Performances were OK - play wasn't great. It went nowhere, seemed to be a cut and paste of several of his other pieces, with lots of found references ( including Grey Gardens ) - and could easily have been drawn down to a single performance 'Talking Heads' type event - recognised lines and phrases from his earlier work - and his famous lack of research was very apparent. Many characters were reduced to cliche, and Linda Bassett - who was very good, appears to have been told 'Liz Smith isn't available - so just pretend to be her. Honestly couldn't tell you what it was supposed to be about - superficially musings on the notion of 'England' - a familiar theme for Bennet - but failed to go anywhere. Lots of infantile humour with sex jokes, bare bottoms and a running theme about chamber pots. There is a strange prelude which makes no sense to the play and distorts the timeline which seems to have been tacked on specifically to  get the audience used to the idea that there will be childish smut in part two, so they can either brace themselves or retire to the bar instead.

Essentially - if it were a film or TV production - it would have benefitted from a good director and script editor - been far more subtle and nuanced, and less comic and contrived. As good as Frances De La Tour was - she was miscast. It should have been someone like Caroline Blaikson, or Sheila Gish if she were still alive - or perhaps a much older Anna Chancellor. The character being a Peeress in her 70's who lived as a virtual recluse in a crumbling country house on VERY reduced circumstances, but had once been a successful fashion model, adventuress and sexually voracious socialite in the 1950's in the mould of Barbara Goalen

The audience - on the other hand ( who I hold totally responsible for my illness - it being packed full to the gunnels of the aged and infirm of London's commuter belt ) were much more interesting. The kind of middle to elderly aged, well heeled, well dressed types that run in from the shires for dinner and a bit of theatre. Fantastically well turned out and groomed, but mostly withered and hunched under their handbags, costume jewellery and bouffant hair. They were probably all National Trust members ( one of the themes of the play ). Quite a few couldn't make it through the 2nd half and had to leave at the interval, including a couple in front of us - the aged husband refused to return for part 2 - his friends offered to catch up in the restaurant 'have a course or two - we'll see you later ".

Aside from everything else - I stayed here - it was the best hotel I have ever stayed in, and at 90 quid - situated directly behind Tate Modern, a complete bargain. I enjoyed everything about it - well designed, very professional, really comfortable and just perfect. It was also very cosmopolitain, mostly well groomed europeans used to such standards, you could spot the Brits, they were wide eyed and gormless, not really knowing what to do in such a place. I loved it and left with a feeling that my life really should have turned out better so I could take such quality for granted. Am already saving up for my next trip.

Was just about able to make my way through the fog this morning to pick up the dogs, they are asleep - as I soon shall be, I feel like I've been run over - am very dehydrated and have not eaten for a couple of days, even water was an impossibility before last night. I shall never mock the afflicted again.