Grey Area

Bloody Hell.. 45... how did that happen. I did vaguely consider checking what I wrote at this time last year but decided against it - I have a feeling I was in a very good mood - and I don't want to rub my face in it.

So - 45... that's crap. There was a time when I thought that I'd be dead by now - or living in a nice house with 2 cars and a small pool. Mind you - I also used to think that if old people ran they would die and that if you changed the TV all the TV's in the world changed at the same time. Up at 5am - it seems to be darker than usual ( really - that's not a metaphor ). I was supposed to go to see a dentist first thing but I moved the appointment because, as a private consultation - I just couldn't afford it. Despite being in a more secure professional situation that last year - with a salary and an increase of about 30% in commercial earnings this tax year already - I am constantly broke, and I mean BROKE. regularly running out of cash half way through the month, with no savings and no credit cards. It's impossible to borrow money and I have no credit cards - which is, I suppose, a good thing ( I know an Oxford Classics graduate with a very good job who regularly uses a loan shark ). I'm also busy all the time - work never ends. I have hardly any real life apart from dog walking and facebook - never go anywhere and live in a falling down house that is such a wreck it won't ever be repossessed. Obviously that's a rather grim and hysterical reading of my personal situation - to be fair, the only debts I have are to the inland revenue and my over draft - and that's a whole lot less than most people my age who have very different lifestyles.

Physically... I'm getting a bit creaky - my back, eyes and ears are letting my down - I'm facing a battle to keep my teeth in my mouth - which feels like someone is playing a very cruel trick on me and paying me back for being so smug about having looked after them properly - and I'm putting on weight because I don't eat as well as I would like to - because it's so fucking expensive.

Good stuff this year is binning the telly - which has totally changed my life for the better - I honestly don't miss it at all. banning the dogs from the upstairs of the house at night - I sleep much better. Cycling everywhere - as long as nobody steals the bike - and discovering that Levis 506 jeans are a much better fit than Levis 501. Professionally - despite the fact I lack ambition and motivation - I've come to realise that I'm actually very good at my job ( both of them - if you include the teaching - and compared to the twats that taught me ).

I'm at home this morning - I'm going to catch up on some work stuff - and then I have to go into the college for a couple of quick jobs and attend the end of year staff party - which does not, apparently, have a vegetarian option - but I have been informed I may 'dress down'... where IS that rubber gimp suit...

So - 45, an interesting number for the Autistically inclined...

Parker 45 is my favourite pen - I have about 25, it has a very specific nib shape and is lovely, I've been collecting them since I was about 11. The early ones have a very specific colour pallette in muted 1650's greys, greens and reds and are beautiful.

Messier Object 45 is an open cluster in the constellation of Taurus - and is also called Pleiades, and the general catalogue object 45 is a spiral galaxy in the constelation of Cetus

A 45th anniversary is known as a sapphire event - sapphire being the blue spectrum family in the beryl classification of gemstones.

+45 is the telephone code for Denmark- somewhere I've never been

Colt 45 or 45 caliber handguns are apparently pretty popular - but I have no interest in handguns

In history,'the '45' refers to the Jacobite rising in 1745

In music - 45 refers to forty five revolutions per min - and is te generic speed for 7 inch vinyl

There is an interstate 45 - can't remember where it goes but I'm sure it gets there in the end.

In maths - the sum of digits is 9 -( 1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+9 = 45) - which I actually find really interesting,  it;'s also classed as a triangular number ( you can make a perfect triangle with the dots, see sum of digits ), an hexagonal number, or figurate - meaning you can make a perfect hexagon with evenly spaced dots, again - really interesting.  A Kaprekar number ( 45 squared + 2025, and 20+ 25 + 45 ), a Harshad number, and a natural number - all quite interesting. The Roman numeral for 45 is XLV. The divisors are - 1,3,4,6,15 and 45.

I suppose that over the weekend I'm going to develop a long term life strategy that will make things very different next year - turn my life around, earn money, move house, get laid etc - but I'm sure I said that last year - frankly all I need is enough to live on, pay my tax bill and new glasses. I've already chosen the frames.

If you need to know what it feels like to wake up this morning and have today in front of you, turn the sound up and ... click here.