Sunday

I went out today - first social contact properly in 3 weeks. I enjoyed it, but it wore me out. It's the start of carnival week in Hastings (I've said before - there is always something happening here) and I met a friend in town and had lunch (very good nut roast in a restaurant that I hated last time). Town was packed, I managed to miss Pirate day last week, but there seemed to be a few stragglers. There was a large beach concert - usual stuff - the compere was like something from Pheonix Nights, it was actually quite surreal when they introduced the carnival queen (do we still do that?)

"Here she is, guys and gals, our beautiful queen - and I don't mean a man in a dress, isn't she lovely. She a bit flustered, someone just crowned her on Winkle Island, but don't worry - you'll get a look later when she drives past on the back of her carnival flat-bed"

It was all very strange - the sun was shining, it was very hot - and I all found it a bit too much and had to come home - I slept for 3 hours and woke up with a crippling headache.

I have to go to work tomorrow - being back is a good thing, I'm looking forward to it and I will be working with someone, but honestly - I still feel like shit. I'm so sick of it all now. I know I need another week off but that's a luxury I don't have. I also need to look at my finances, have no idea where I am with all that. Someone told me I should be claiming benefits, I have no idea what planet they are on.

Did some general cleaning this morning, still find it a pain picking stuff up off the floor, tying my laces and putting socks on but the house seems livable now. I'm immensely grateful that the dogs have 'twigged' that I need a bit of TLC and have been brilliant the last 3 weeks - hardly any trouble at all, the small one regularly digs up things in the garden but I don't have the energy to do anything about that.

I greeted the news about Cilla Black with complete indifference, she's one of these people I had a blind spot for. Talking of which, Desert Island Discs today was exactly the same. It was Ruth Rodgers, and by the time it had finished I liked her less than I thought humanly possible. The key quote? "how many times have we driven through London looking for a raspberry in February?" I worked for someone once I liked very much but who owned a couple of posh restaurants in London, they were equally detached from the reality of real food on real plates.

I had a phone call yesterday from an activist at the Labour Party (I'm a member - they have my details) canvassing for Andy Burnham as next leader. We had a long chat about 'stuff' - he did seem surprised that I thought Stella Creasy would be a good deputy. Basically - I saw her on Question Time a few weeks ago and she clearly listened to the questions, thought, and then gave a considered answer - rather than reciting a party line. The last time I saw that was Mo Mowlam. It made a difference (Clare Short too).