Friday evening

Another heroically shit day.

Went in early to do that piece of work that should have taken 3 days but I was only commissioned for one. managed to get it done, have received the usual passive aggressive non committal email in response.

Walked home with a bag of books and 2 laptops in gale force winds. I'm not putting the lights on downstairs in case there is still water in the fittings - I'll deal with that at the weekend. The dogs managed to get the bin open and spread the contents all over the house, and small dog then pissed everywhere. I have staggeringly bad IBS today - feel like I've been repeatedly kicked in the guts - I'm probably going to have to go to bed very early - it's unmanagable, all my own fault for getting stressed out.

Everything has been hard work today and I worked in silence because I can't bear what's going on in France. It's just too much.

There is nothing like tragedy to bring out the wanker in people. We had about 20 mins support for 'Je suis Charlie' across all social media - and then up pop the smug, self important, too-fucking-clever-by-half commentators who are desperate to construct an 'angle' and provide us all with the benefit of their unique, edgy perspective on everything. Mostly along the lines of a very confused reading of what 'free speech' actually means. Locally - a journalist has organised a rally from the town hall and short march in support of the French magazine, an as soon as it's posted on a local internet board, someone has to chip in with an angry retort that they personally believe in free speech but actually - only if it suits them - siting the example that if it had been an attack on the offices of the Daily Mail, they couldn't possible join in as a supporter. Seriously - twisting a tragedy to score points for yourself is pretty pathetic. A couple of weeks ago there was an 'outrage' in St Leonards when it was discovered that the local UKIP group were going to hire a small room at the back of a pub to have their annual meeting or Xmas get together or something. Someone decided that it wasn't going to happen and started a campaign to stop it, succeding. I personally loathe UKIP with a passion, I think they are more pathetic than hateful, but they are not the National Front, nor are they the BNP - they are a legitimate political party with 2 members of parliament, and we all have to take collective responsibility for letting that happen - nobody is in a position to tell them what they can and can't do, it's a free country. It just smacks of the clever, smart kids - bullying the misfits and stopping them having fun. Living in a democracy with free speech means that sometimes we need to tolerate things - even though I regularly have trouble with that myself. It's really easy to be a smart arse when nobody is pointing a gun in your face.

I'm not sure if it's the IBS or I'm getting a cold - but I feel terrible. I'm going to a meal tomorrow - partly to see friends, and partly to talk about engineering some funding for something - they are an expert, so I'll have to pull myself together. I may, or may not, be booked to work on Monday - still not confirmed, I'll probably get a text at 8.00 on Monday saying "are you coming in today or what?"