Limbo

It's Monday morning, I'm waiting for a couple of clients to let me know if I'm supposed to carry on with work I've started already or hand it over. All this hanging around is a waste of time and I don't get paid for it. If I start anything else - I know for a fact I'll be forced to stop as soon as I start.

I forgot to add to last nights rant about self employment that if I worked in-house, I'd be given free training with my job, as the technology advances - bus as I'm self employed I have to pay for my own training  in my own time - I currently pay £50pcm for a license to use the software on my computer that enables me to create visual work, and every font I use costs money too - you need to buy a license for a typeface, if it's used online - it can cost anything from £10 to £1000. I had to buy another keyboard last week, couldn't just requisition one from I.T, nor could I add it to a job and claw the cash back. Sitting here waiting for the go-ahead on something I've already started is a waste of my time and another little financial black hole.

There is a gang of scaffolders outside preparing a 6 storey building for renovation, they are shouting a lot. The banter is mostly sexist abuse, swearing and taking the piss out of each other. It's been like this for two hours. I'm praying that one of them falls off. I'm pretty sure they are all latent homosexuals.

I almost wish I'd stayed at home - I should really tackle some financial issues or do some training, but I need to be in the right frame of mind. The house is a mess and needs a day spent cleaning it and doing the washing. It's due to rain later and the roof still leaks. Dreading that.

Very poorly put together article on the Today program about the woman who has apparently taken her own life after being confronted for abusing the McCaan family online. We don't know what has happened there, everything is speculation - but they managed to find an expert who had already somehow phsycho analysed the situation and was full of opinions. He also kept referring to the victim as 'Brenda' - despite the fact that it would have been more appropriate to use her surname, or not at all - seeing as the police have refused to name her. The only intelligent thing he 'tried to say' which he phrased badly, was that people who abuse others, particularly in circumstances like this, are often channelling something else into their vitriol and find easy targets that they can distort to accept their own distress. It's all really sad and pathetic. I've already seen reports that there has been a backlash against Sky for broadcasting the original 'sting' where they confronted her live - It was a very shitty thing to do and I hope it comes back to haunt them.

I had a quick scoot around my very neglected garden earlier today - it always thrives when I leave it alone, some of the architectural stuff is now massive - I may be best served taking a few things out to ease the congestion and cutting one of the trees right back. Still need a skip to clear the bagged up rubble from the patio, and I'm supposed to be taking all the potted shrubbery from my friend mum's garden - now that she has died and the house is being sold, it has to go somewhere and they asked me to take it. Need room for all of that.

I've just booked a ticket to go and see Willy Vlautin introduce the film of his brilliant book, The Motel Life' at my local digital cinema - the afternoon before I get to see him play live at the De La Warr Pavilion. Something to look forward to (November).