Sunday PM.

About a billion people are watching The World Cup Final - I'm eating cheesecake and watching a crappy sci-fi film.

When I wake up tomorrow morning  I'll be 48. That's a bit crap. I'm not much of a birthday person at the best of times (once you get past the age of about 6, they gradually lose their allure) and as I get older, I may not feel any different but the numbers get bigger and uglier. I have a feeling that 48 will be my last chance to avoid calling myself middle aged - 49 being a particularly ugly number. My 20 year anniversary of being self employed is in about 18 months - 20 years ago today I was still working in London, living in the City and having an OK time. Not as 'OK' as it could of been - but considerably better than it might have been. I was earning far more money then, than I am now. That's absurd.

Most people of my age still look pretty good, but that's more to do with the fact that looking young is more important now than when I was a kid - back then - someone in their late 40's would have looked half dead. Most of my peers are still youthful, engaged, quite trendy and active - some of them are having a 2nd wind now that their teenage kids are leaving home and they have the chance to go back to a bit of relative freedom, I think a few of them probably party too hard, but I'm happy to let them get on with it. My (much) younger sister has a daughter in high school and a son who just had his 'prom' - my brother has a little boy who is edging towards double figures. Most of my friends have children around the age of 16-20 and seem to have done a pretty good job of being parents. I was never attracted to the idea myself and I wouldn't have been very good at it. It's all I can do to shepherd a couple of badly behaved dogs around a couple of times a day. I find it hard enough looking after myself.

I've not bothered telling anyone it's my birthday - over the years I've successfully managed to drop it further and further below the radar. I have a new business meeting at lunchtime (although I suspect it will be a 'do this one as a favour' type affair) and I need to try and find some frosted window vinyls - that may require a cycle ride to Bexhill at lunchtime. I'm waiting on the go-ahead on a couple of projects so I'm not that busy - and I HATE not being busy, makes me fretful and I find it quite difficult to concentrate.

If I get paid this week, I'm going to order a very large skip and do a final garden clearance - still have about 80 bags of rubble from the patio - and a load of topsoil and timber to get rid of, after that - I'll have no excuse for finishing the garden properly. There are loads of little jobs that need doing - I keep putting them off because I'm either short of cash or in the middle of a project at work - really need to get on with things. Lots of varnish has peeled off the front door in the hardsh sun, it looks really shabby... really need to do something about that.