Saturday PM.

Seeing as the world is such a god-awful shit place, most of the time - I've tried to regain some vague perspective by watching 'The Pianist' - and 'Conspiracy' - the HBO film about the formulation of the Nazi plan to eradicate the Jewish race. It hasn't helped. I'm watching Barbarella now and trying to cheer up.

It's been a stiflingly hot day again, any activity results is dripping sweat and irritation - it's threatening to become stormy again, but I think we'll miss it. the BBC weather has been totally wrong again all day.

Found out today that someone I know quite well had their home repossessed months ago and has gone to great lengths to hide it. We don't really get on, but I feel pretty bad for them, it's the one thing that I fear more than anything.

In another 'exciting' Saturday event - someone else I know has become quite evangelical on a media platform out their alcoholism. I have real issues with people that have alcohol problems, nothing personal - but seeing as big chunks of my life were ruined, or at least damaged by having an alcoholic parent - I prefer not to have to deal with it anymore. Alcohol is such a funny thing, millennia ago it would have been something that connected us with a spiritual or ritualistic state, and without it - we probably wouldn't have survived to be the dominant species, clean water for large populations being something that couldn't really be accommodated until the Victorian era. Certainly - as a social drug - most modern marriages, relationships and even friendships wouldn't have got off the ground without the lubrication of alcohol. Some people seem to have no problems with it. Jolly, red faced drunks who retain all their social prowess and navigate the booze minefield with ease, but some people turn instantly into monsters, some into neurotic, needy, blubbing car-crashes (I've met a lot of them). I used to feel better socially if I'd had a drink, especially in crowds - but it didn't really work for me, I get staggering hangovers that last for 2 days and am even more socially inept than usual - I just don't realise it at the time. I also find it quite hard to be accommodating of idiots when drunk and get angry easily, so I generally avoid alcohol in crowds - and prefer something low key if I do go out. I quite like a cold beer at home watching a film - I'm drinking one now - virtually alcohol free stuff from the COOP - and I've not drunk wine (which I used to really like) since I had all that dental work done a couple of years ago. I've never really understood how people can afford to drink, that's one of the reasons I've never drunk spirits, I mean - that stuff costs more than gold leaf! Mostly - drunks scare me - I know how unstable and unpredictable they are. If I walk into a bar and there are drunk people - I usually walk back out (kinda defeats the purpose, I know) - but they are genuinely frightening. That's one of the reasons I left Brighton - EVERYONE was drunk ALL THE TIME, there was no social life without it, and if you have ever been sober in Liverpool City Centre on a Friday or Saturday night, you'll know what real fear is.

One of my neighbours is having a garden bonfire, I'm 99% certain it's the woman who wrote a letter of complaint to the local paper a couple of years ago when I had one.

OOOHHH - massive thunder.... best get the candles out.