Saturday

I think it's Easter, I'm not entirely sure.

I've been away - figuratively and sometimes physically. I've spent the last 2 weeks working incredibly hard, I was still working at 1am last night and I'm working over the weekend (at home, for a change) - basically - I'm at the stage where I just do anything that comes my way.

I've earned loads of money this month - spurned on by the fact that I had a £15k drop in income last year - that pissed me off, and I have bills piled to the ceiling, including a massive fine from the inland revenue that just can't be right. Part of the time I've been working in London (£60 per day in train fares, 2.5 hours each way ) and part of the time in Brighton. I also had to train a clients assistant 'how to be a designer' for a day. Turned out she was lovely and really bright - that helped.

I'm feeling pretty light headed with it all - but I've done some pretty good work and I've been keeping on top of things. I worked in the studio yesterday and went so far as to even sort out the recycling.

Easter - for that is what it is - has passed me by totally. Not interested, don't have the time. The insurance people are still being cunts and I don't seem to be having much luck with roofers or builders. The cherry tree in my garden is in full bloom and large numbers of butterflies that seem to have been hibernating in my loft have had to be rescued and taken outside.

A friend came round to the house for the first time yesterday - her only real comment was 'I can see it's a work in progress'.

The falling down house at the end of my road is being refurbished and the house behind me where the drunk woman lived is now finished and on the market. The big double fronted house a few doors away on the corner is fully scaffolded and being painted - looks really smart already.

I have a few things to do today and then I'm going to spend the rest of the weekend working. I'm not complaining.

I have loads of invoices waiting to be paid, I've never been owed so much - which is ironic and comic, because I'm literally broke - have about 40 quid left. If someone doesn't pay me soon I'll have to borrow money. Slightly embarrassing - but the cost of living is absurd - at times like this I wish I still had credit cards (almost). I'm not that bothered - I know I have plenty coming in - but it's annoying. I suppose it has the unexpected benefit that I'm not actually spending any money (I can live on literally nothing ) and I have no debt - that's astonishing in this day and age, and things could be worse.

I've been hitting the coffee pot very hard recently - and as a result - been getting palpitations, so I've opened up the first packet of the fair trade expensive decaffeinated ground coffee I bought a few weeks ago at half price, I was expecting it to taste of nothing - but it's actually pretty good!

I had a minor triumph this week - I was in an all day meeting with a couple of people I'm working with - both senior to me, and a director of the company - (who is REALLY) important bought us lunch, hadn't expected that - she came in with a really lovely set of salads and fresh orange juices that she'd just bought on The Kings Road - unfortunately - they were all chicken salads with bacon and avocado, for most of my life I'd have been too shy, insecure and cowardly to tell them I didn't eat meat - and just got on with it , not wanting to make a fuss, and felt wretched for weeks after ward - this time, I managed to just tell them, apologised, made a joke of it - and it was fine. Negotiating social situations like that has always been a nightmare for me. I might have finally started growing up. (I'm 47)