Friday

I'm in work early today, I very nearly decided not to come in today - yesterday was quite difficult and I ended up with a stonking headache by lunchtime and went home to bed, I'd half resolved to take the rest of this week off, but the dogs had me up at 5am so I decided to give it a try. I could work at home - but really, forcing myself to come in was a much better idea... probably.

When I got home yesterday small dog had totally destroyed a large rubber backed coir rug, its an industrial strength number at the back of the dining room that I use to clean my shoes on when I've been in the garden. I have no idea how she managed this, the rubber is about 5mm thick. It was quite expensive, and I was quite angry.

This year isn't shaping up too well, I'm not really enjoying it much. Work is looking difficult, sparse and irregular. I'm not going to be able to pay my tax bill and I'm not feeling too happy in myself. Clients are being awkward, one is trying to get me to work for nothing, and people around me are generally being arses. I've never understood why people who barely know me seem to think it's OK to tell me what my faults are, how to run my own life, and point out where I'm going wrong. Additionally - the guy I share my part of the studio with is leaving, he's trying to buy a house and it's a money saving exercise. I'm quite sad about that - he's not in much as he's a location photographer - but we get on very well - and he's probably the only person I know who is in the same situation as me - self employed, single income household... and all the stress that entails.

I'm hoping to do a half day - I want to make a start at putting in a cupboard under the stairs at home - I've actually done proper drawings and measurements - I think I need to do something practical to take my mind off things. I have caught myself watching rubbish on the telly via iplayer - specifically some awfull sub-changing Rooms show about interior decorating, it's fucking terrible - I think they got over excited by the success of the sewing and cooking shows, the people are idiots, the 'experts' are wankers and the whole thing is a sham - the sad part is that Tom Dykhoff is hosting, he's totally redundant and obviously brought in to try and give it some credibility - poor sod looks lost, and very unhappy.