April 1st.

The milk was frozen in the fridge - it does that sometimes if it's cold outside. I have no idea why.

Yesterday - after some deliberation, I started decorating the front room. I've been putting it off for years - and for good reason. It's one of those rooms that has no straight walls, the plaster falls off the walls if you hang a picture or slam a door, and the skirting boards neither match nor fit properly. It's horrible. It's a fairly common complain on the south coast - lots of crumbling Victorian property with dried out and inferior render, slowly turning to dust - I have a friend who made the mistake of trying to put up a curtain rail and ended up being forced to move out of the house for a week while a team of builders repaired the damage. The patch repairs to the plaster are all that's holding up - papering was the only way to hold it all together - and as a small room with lots of uneven walls and corners - it was not much fun. I've put up a layer of lining paper over half the room. When I was a student I worked during one summer for a decorator who was stippling (it was the fashion at the time) a whole house in Hampstead... next door to Sting and Trudi Styler. He swore by two layers of lining paper ( one horizontal - one vertical ) in ever room - sanded in between. I understand why. The walls are so uneven I'm going to have to be very creative - once this layer ids fully dried I'll sand everything down again. I'll give it a 7 out of 10 so far.

In truth - the only sensible thing is to hack off all the plaster and start again - but that's not going to happen.

Biggest problem is the background moisture - have no idea why there is still some slight damp in this room - makes no sense, but the whole of Hastings is damp so I'll live with it. This room looks much bigger without any furniture in it. I have to leave one wall because it's going to be tongue and Grooved, but I've not bought the timber yet - that requires cash and the misery of arranging delivery.

Lots of really shit April Fools jokes in the papers - this is NOT one of them. Nor is the fact that Ed Hardcourt released his new album - and then decided to let everyone download it for free, I'll have what he's having!

Favourite quote of today "I'm a fascist, not a racist" - just what modern British football needs. Again, not an April Fool's Joke.

Bit confused by the new Archbishop of Canterbury telling his flock not to put their faith into 'individuals' or 'hero leaders' - does that include the one with wings?