Saturday

Horrible day. Really horrible.

Up repeatedly in the night coughing, this cold is really pissing me off. Have to spend half the day cleaning and half the day working - the client I couldn't talk to yesterday is calling later - and everything needs to be completed by Monday afternoon.

Managed to avoid all of Comic Relief by watching documentaries ( the one about creativity was the dullest thing I've ever seen ) and catching up on Masterchef.

Masterchef has become a parody of itself - the contestants are all the same. Pub Chefs with 'ideas' "yeah, it's Asian Rim inspired fish and chips with a Guiness coulis and blow-fish crab sticks, 'innit" - kooky girls with perky tits, ironic glasses and heads leaning on one side, they usually look as if they spent 6 months in a spa getting ready - and are the kind of person who has the time to learn to cook during the day between lunch and dinner dates. Well paid, over qualified professionals with brilliant careers and enough money to buy expensive ingredients - but who are unsatisfied with their lives "I'm actually a children's cancer specialist, but my real passion is Mediterranean cuisine".

John and Greg are clowns who have become parodies of themselves - and last night I had the miserable experience of watching last years finalists come back and be smug, patronising and arrogant - having already forgotten that it was only a year ago that they were nothing. I used to watch the 'old' Masterchef because it was so funny, bored, middle class neurotics trying to justify the emptiness of their lives - and now it's just the same - but with a casting director that has a brief to search for looks and personality. One bloke had teeth so white it made me snow blind, and another seemed to be so obsessed with his looks he had developed an eating disorder and had skin like oiled silk. There was a willowy blonde who spent about 10 mins trying to pretend she was Norwegian or Swedish, but kept slipping into estuary Essex in tense moments. I shall continue to watch ( well, there is usually someone I fancy) and probably enjoy it - but it's only a TV show.

House is freeing. I'd do anything to just go back to bed.