Wednesday

Up early - bright yellow, full moon bothering the dogs, brisk walk in the very cold air.

Worked hard yesterday, a relief - as I've been a bit 'off for a few days' and had difficulty starting - just a bit run down and stressed, really need a few days off. I sometimes get a bit knackered and into myself - this has everything to do with being tired, stressed, self employed and never having a holiday - and not, ans my fuck-wit dipso doctor assumed, mentally ill. I think she wants to put the whole world on anti-depressants so that nobody notices her hangovers.

Read a very depressing article here about the stuffed corpse of Guy the Gorilla. He 'captured' the nations heart, so we kept him prisoner and gawped at him, and when he was dead, ripped out his guts, stuffed him full of straw and put him on display. I'm not a fan of keeping animals in capitivity - and I don't need reminding how important and valuable the work to preserve and conserve the worlds fragile ecosystem is - but putting animals on display for entertainment is barbaric and sub human.  When I was a child, there was a large, male orangutan in Chester zoo, he would sit on a grassy island and just stare at the groups of school kids gawping and laughing at him. It became a tradition to throw food at him, and when he died, it was revealed that he had pneumonia, precipitated by the mouldy bread matted into his fur from all the thrown ham sandwiches. On one occasion my dad took me into the monkey house - where you could stand behind glass and watch the primates inside their sleeping areas, even as a kid I thought this was voyeuristic and cruel. One of the monkeys stood up - screeched at us, and pissed against the glass - which seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to do - my dad said 'that's disgusting, no shame' - it's always stuck in my mind - what the fuck purpose would shame have to a small monkey? Why do we constantly try and humanise animals - as if being human is the best thing to be??

Talking of captive animals in cruel conditions - this is depressing.

There has been widespread flooding in the tiny bit of the UK I come from - at least the press have had the intelligence to refer to St Asaph as a City, despite being about as being as a Croydon car park - it has an ancient cathedral - so there!

Calls on the radio for people to walk more and rely less on their cars. I know so many people who will get in their car to drive 100 yards, or circle a destination for half an hour to get a parking space 10 yards closer to where they want to go.

I have a feeling that we have reached the tipping point in the peadageggon drama - aside from the fact that it turns out 99% of everyone in light entertainment WASN'T a kiddie fiddler after all - the mental image of Cyril Smith on the rampage has created such horror that even the hardest journalistic heart has probably gone off the whole subject and they will all go back to writing about Jordan instead. I have to e honest, just as with Saville and Glitter - I always had a deep seated fear of Cyril Smith as a child - perhaps we have a kind of built in alarm - a bit like Gaydar - but for pedarests. I also had a horror of Gareth Hunt and Noddy Holder, and that bloke Yorri off Finger Bobs, the one with 'the finger'. As an adult - I feel the same about Miranda, Mark Gattiss and Donald Trump.