Tuesday

... and it's going to be an extra strong coffee day. I'm really tired today - I went to bed at 9pm, with the washing machine on - and lay in bed waiting for the spin to stop - after what seemed like 20 mins I had to go down and turn it off at the wall - that's what happened to my old one - it went onto a spin that never ended.

At least I don't have to leave the house - lots of bits of work to finish off and loose ends to tie up. I also have to deal with my dental referral and sort out some packages. I've been asked to do a piece of work that is essentially ambulance chasing to help a client out - they have been really good to me over the years so I'm happy to help - but I'll be gritting my teeth and keeping my head down to avoid the politics.

There is a thing on the radio about the fallen fortunes of Readers Digest. When I was a kid, my mum ordered it every month - I used to read it because it had colour pictures ( it was the 70's in Britain ) of the rest of the world, jokes and aspirational writing - a bit like the watchtower but with higher production values - looking at it now it was a bit of a joke and simply testament to my parents desperate desire to be middle class - I'm surprised it didn't make it to Abigails party.

Come to think of it - we also used to get The Watchtower - one of my mothers very few real friends was a lovely woman called Cathy who looked like a pre-raphelite painting - long red hair and very beautiful - she was an avid Jehovah's Witness but they never talked about religion ( her husband was an atheist - apparently they never talked about it at home either ) - she used to bring me bundles of The Watchtower because I liked colouring in the pictures and adding jet fighters to the sunny skies - spaceships and aliens to the scenes of paradise and devils horns to the angels - she thought it was quite funny. I really liked Cathy and she was a good influence on my mother during her manic high and low episodes. She was probably the only person in her circle ( except one younger sister ) who understood what manic Depression was and was able to see it as an illness. Unfortunaly - even Cathy had her limits - I never really knew what happend but I think there was an episode where my mother had been very depressed about something ( I think It was the unexpeded suicide of a friends teenage son ) and Cathy had spent the day talking to her about it, and absently said something benign like 'I'll say a prayer for you' or something similar - and my mother had become hysterical and accused her of trying to indoctrinate her. It was fairly typical of my mother to lash out at people who were trying to help her. I don't know what she said to Cathy, it must have been pretty bad because we never saw her again and she refused to come to my mothers funeral.

We found a fair few Readers Digests when we cleaned up my mothers house. tea stained and musty - they were really quite rubbish. Lots of adverts for cigarettes and brandy.