I strongly suspect that there will be a lot of little things hidden away in here that churlish and bruised journalists mighthave ferreted away for posterity - I went through the digital version which has been released from the firewall for today, I wouldn;t actually buy the fucking thing...
Front cover - blah blah blah - greatest hits etc - nice little pics of Sarah Payne - Jade Goody crying, Diana and Jacko Dead, Ian Huntley and Fergie fucking up - all the 'real' news etc.
Page 2 editorial - blah blah blah, terrible typesetting, the copy from 168 years ago is tighter.
next spread - people wot the NOTW has banged up, 'innit.
next spread - massive pic of Sarah Payne etc -
next spread - on the right - TIT'S, TIT'S, TIT'S!!!!!, lotsa lovely knockers!!! - facing page headline "A void we may never fill again"... ( see what they did there )
next spread - the golden triangle of Becks, Will and Kate - and the very first add, a third of a page for somerthing I can't figure out because it's too badly designed.
next spread - add for cheap hoidats via the sun, collect the token - facing page, TIT'S!!
next spread - boring stuff about soap opera
next page - big pic of Gwyneth Paltrow in a bikini, not a great image, too thin - facing page - 'MR PIG' - something about a fat illegal immigrant pimp. Classy - nice contrast. When the pages are closed you can imagine he is lying on top of her...
next spread - first full page add for St Johns Ambulance - pic of a crying child - facing page, big thing by Carole Malone - she can fuck off.
next spread - full page add for something I've never heard of, facing page - big spread about a baby born too early. ( pass me a tissue )
next spread - a greatest hits roundup by Dan Wootton - the showbiz type person, and it's a miracle of self love - he's a massive queen, in case you hadn't noticed.
next page - something about The Apprentice, one of the contestants is having a bad time professionally - so lets all make the most of the opportunity to rub his face in it.
next page - possibly about money but very hard to tell
next spread - something bashing the BBC, and a pic from Katy Perry / Russell Brands new and very vulgar home - but opposite that is a full page add looking for gay and lesbian couples who want to adopt - neatly sandwiched between another add for a HIV charity - and inbetween the TV review with the title "into the sunset with a box full of lesbians" - utter cuntery.
next spread - add for family fitness charity with an article about how a third of adults are too fat to live - and a huge sptead about Libya - NAVY LET'S RIP AT GADDAFFI" - "BLAST!!!!!"
next - Harry Potter etc
next - boring gadgets
next - entertainment - dull, I'm not sure, but the picture of Damon Albarn may not be of him.
next - cars boring
next - how to lay a patio ( seriously...)
next - crosswords and shit ( whateve happened to Suduko?)
next - sexy photo story - dull, and traveling - over 3 pages
next - something about a holiday resort called 'Sandy Balls' - really...
next few pages - boring sport - including an interview with golfer Rory McIlroy, with the staggering strapline - "when you're in the spotlight you must do the simple things right and be a decent person".... staggering.
last page - 1966 world cup pic - as the team hold the cup aloft, the headline is a re-worked masthead "Best in the World".... yeah. right.
"Am I bovered" - nope.
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