Some of you - if you know me well enough and for long enough - will know that I was beaten up by 3 men, 2 of them squaddies, in Brighton, 10 years ago, just before Xmas. No reason for it - they were pissed and coked up and just pulled me out of a crown 'because I was tall' and beat the shit out of me in front of a crowd of people. I nearly lost an eye, had a septal heomatoma and still can't breath through my nose. It took me a while to get back on my feet - and six months to get my eyesight back. I lost a lot of money because I couldn't work and it nearly wiped me out. The hospital treated me as if I was a criminal ( although the police were great ) and the trial was a really bad experience. After I recovered, I went back to work for 6 months and tried to get back to normal and then had a bit of a breakdown thingy and took some time off. I've never really recovered financially, or professionally - but it dosen't bother me, shit happens... and it has again.
I was scanning the news sites this morning and one of the three men has been killed. The police have only found blood in his garage and a man has been arrested on suspicion of murder. A violent end for a violent man.
I thought it didn't bother me and forgot about it - but I've started thinking about it now and it's brought back a lot for shit and how I felt at the time. I've come top realise over the years that it did change me - I don't trust anyone and I always assume people are 'bad' when I first meet them and it's up to them to prove otherwise. I still don't know what motivates someone to pick on a complete stranger and jump up and down on his head for fun. I won't go anywhere willingly unless I'm comfortable and I can't stand to be in the company of anyone drunk or aggressive. I stopped being ambitious afterward and I've never really cared about work or money in the way I'm 'supposed to' - stuff like that didn't seem important anymore. When you have spent a few months waiting for the black gunk to drain out of your eye in the hope that you might be able to see through it again - your priorities change.
Do I care about him and what's happened. No.
1 comment:
That is exceedingly horrible Richard, it made me seethe just reading about it and really, the way you wrote about it was very emotionally-neutral. I found your observations about what happened, the impact on your Self and your life and your feelings about the man's death very interesting, I hope that doesn't sound insensitive, but I did.
Post a Comment