I went into the Oxfam shop - the horrible fat woman with the Hitler complex wasn't there - just two middle aged men who could have been auditioning for comedy character actor roles in Coronation street.
"Have you ever read that book about the thing, the thing - you know, by him that was him that was from St Leonards - lived up by the steps - Tressell" ( he means Robert Tressell )
"Yes - The Ragged Trousered Philatalist" ( I swear I don't make this up )
"You mean Philanthrospist, and yes, I like a bit of local colour"
at this point - a woman I had not noticed pops up from behind a pile of books
"Oh - yes, him, I know - the most boring book I've ever read, boring. Boring, boring, boring. The most boring book I've ever read - and I've read all of it, all the way through, it was boring, boooooorrrrriiiinnnggg". (oblivious to the fact that she was really, really boring)
At this point the till broke, or the paper ticket thing broke - and the man became very distressed
"I'll have to close the shop - this is a disaster, I can't cope with this"
a man was trying to pay for something - and I was next
"I can't take your money - it's the machine, I have no authority, it's not right"
The man left empty handed, I had the right money ( plus 1p ) and I offered it to him, he took some persuading but in the end wrote down my personal details and got me to sign them 'in case there were any awkward questions' ( it was £1.00 ), as I left I heard him say "I hope I've done the right thing"
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