Sunday

I'm spoiling you with two posts a week.

went to work today. Didn’t really want to - but I had stuff that needed peace and quiet and Sunday is the best time. I was in the studio at about 10 past nine. I walked past the central Yates’s bar on the way in, there were people sitting outside drinking pints of lager. At 9am. On a Sunday. I don’t understand any of that.

By about lunchtime I’d done perhaps half of what I needed. Then it all went wrong, I was told anecdotally that the contact I have been dealing with on a large project (that has been dragging on for a while but is quite high profile) - has resigned and left. It is quite a lot of money, also - I have a suspicion they have not formalised the project with their managers and I am going to find it very hard to convince them to pay me or even continue with the project. This happened once about 15 years ago with Habitat and it took nearly 2 years to get paid. I really need that money - and I have been putting projects to one side and turning stuff down because it has been so complicated and time consuming. I was so pissed off I came home and went to bed for 2 hours. I’ve woken up with a  really bad headache now.

When I woke up - I could hear raised voices outside. We have a new neighbour. He rents a large house opposite. He has 2 small cars and 2 ‘4 by 4’ types and goes out at weekends somewhere rural and brings back a lot of mud that he never clears off the road or pavement. He’s very selfish and parks on the grass and clogs up the street. He was shouting at another neighbour because this guys car was parked too close to his.The other neighbour is about 75 and has a tiny Micra (he’s also a milkman with an actual milk float), I had to stand at the window waiting in case it all got out of hand and I needed to intervene - it went on and on and on for about an hour.

I’m incredibly tired and incredibly pissed off. I’m hoping that this week the mortgage thing goes through without too much drama - but I’m not banking on it. I have another really good reason for ending it to go through smoothly and without any distraction - but I’ll talk about that later.

The events in America this weekend have left me feeling sick and angry. I have fallen out with quite a few people over the last year because of this and things like it - in particular the trendy, middle class idiocy of people on the smug left who moaned that they didn’t want Hillary but were prepared to accept Trump instead. This is all as much their fault as anyone else’s.

It’s hot and sunny outside, I’m going to have pasta and ten get an early night - next week looks rubbish already.

More new stuff.

It’s that time of year when everyone is on holiday - so nothing gets done except emergencies at 9pm when people in France remember the stuff they forgot to tell you about, nobody answers your emails or pays your bills - I am struggling to get things completed but project creep is making it impossible. Frustrating isn’t the word.

I’ve been let down badly by a digital supplier, again. They always let you down.

The automated payment process for my Council tax ended so I signed onto the system provided by my local authority - due to my fucked up head and the appalling interface I accidentally paid a years council tax by mistake - cleaning out my bank account. I can’t get it back and have complained - according to a friend who works there - it happens all the time. I am quite pissed off about that.

Additionally - as I’m sure you are bored with me mentioning - my difficulty with dates and numbers seems to have fucked up my mortgage - or possibly not. Still not sure.

I bought my house on August 28th - 10 years ago. I had it in my head that was the date when my when my mortgage ended, however - it actually finished a month early - so at the point when I was attempting to transfer to a different product online - it refused to offer me anything other than interest only, also - it has dropped down by £200pcm because I’m no longer on my old repayment rate.

It would seem to me that the new offers are all around 2% interest only - with the ability to pay up to 10% per annum of the outstanding balance on top - without penalty….which is somehow a much better deal than any of the fixed rate repayment mortgages I have been offered… I am going to mull this for a few days but if I stay on the interstate only fixed for 5 years and keep paying the same amount each months I am now - I’ll be better off ad pay off more of my balance… I have about 100K equity in the house now - but everything is getting on top of me with work and house stuff so I’m starting to get into debt - I’m seriously looking at making some drastic changes to my life - I can’t really keep stumbling along like this. I should probably talk to someone about my selective short term memory too.

I spent half a day with an old friend from college - she spent 3 hours unloading 30 years of disappointment and frustration caused by the failures at RCA. So. It’s not just me, then.

It’s Saturday - my day off - I have to go into work tomorrow. I’m exhausted. I woke up at 5am as usual and have been busy ever since. As I still have not replaced the washing machine, this included a lot of hand washing.

3 different people made rude comments about the shirt I was wearing yesterday (striped number - I like it) I've been asked not to wear it again, and was asked to move by one person because it was getting I the way of a photograph. 

I found a G5 apple Mac in the street - about 3k worth. Booted up straight away. 2 hard drives. People are insane. The case alone is worth 30 quid as scrap.

an update

I went to see Dunkirk yesterday - I thought it was very good. I was a bit annoyed by the frequent famous faces and too much harry Styles, but that didn’t detract from some very fine craft film making. In particular - as I live on the south coast - I really ‘got’ the big sea and sky throughout - very beautiful.

Last week I went to see the 2nd part of Angels in America - also excellent. I prefer theatre to theatrical so part 1 was more engaging for me, but once again - Andrew Garfield was the star of the show. Money well spent.

I have had a lot of work to do over the last week and IO’m getting increasingly run down - project creep is agonisingly annoying and impacts on my income. I’m ‘up against’ the end of the month so I have to make a decision about my mortgage in the next few weeks and sort a few other problems out - and try and persuade people to pay me. But, I’m sort of getting by.

I’m eating more protein at the moments I feel a it better but I would like to lose a bit of weight in the middle, or just get more exercise, or just possibly have a break. I have no real free time at all and I’m constantly tied.

I’m not sure if I got round to mentioning I hit 51 a couple of weeks ago. It wasn’t welcome.

‘The tiny ‘secret’ house directly across the road from me appears to have sold for quite a lot of money. I’m not sure why the Address is Fairlight Road - it should be my road - they even have a plaque on the fence. This morning one of my colleagues told me he’d been there this morning to pick up some chairs that the new owners were selling on eBay.

It’s becoming increasingly urgent to find a way to fund the front of my house - I need to get the mortgage thing out of the way first.

I trued to figure out what was wrong with the washing machine - when I turned it own, it started smoking. I guess that means it’s fucked. I don’t need a washing machine that catches fire. I managed to get through 25 years with just 2 washing machines, this one has lasted about a year. More money I can’t afford to spend. I’m really pissed off about that one. I really don’t seem to be getting a break here.

I broke my can opener and had to open a tin of chick peas with a hacksaw yesterday. The shame.

I’m sad that Jeanne Moreau has died - she was probably my favourite actress.

One of my mates witnessed quite a typical Hastings incident yesterday. It’s carnival week so much drinking and carousing everywhere - after the annual tug-of-war on the seafront, he witnessed the climax of a large family feud - an old woman on a mobility scooter (quite drunk) was repeatedly ramming a very large man (who had been part of the tug-of-war) and shouting ‘come on then. fight me’. Hastings.

An update.

Yep. I know - I haven’t been around much recently. I’ve had a lot on my plate - I’m working really hard and frankly - I don’t seem to enjoy talking about myself any more. I’ve been writing this blog now for 10 years and I can’t quite remember why I started. I often think about writing something but my attention wanders or I forget what I was going to say.

In brief. 

Quite a lot has happened over the last couple of months. The election was a farce - and to top it off, because I gave some professional help to the independent candidate I was formally expelled from the Labour party by some legal department. Personally I found the whole thing hysterical. There is no point in my pretending I have any faith in Corbyn - I don’t and I will never come round to him. I think he’s a disaster waiting to happen. Sadly - that has meant me falling out with quite a few people.

I had my birthday in London with two old friends from school and their families and a few close friends from London. It was actually very nice. I don’t socialise much now but it was a lovely day.

I had the two year anniversary of my accident. I’m still having trouble with my memory - and I still get confused and stammer a bit when I’m stressed (usually with people I don’t know). I also still have that deeply frustrating and embarrassing thing where I get very emotional and tearful for the slightest reason. All typical, dull brain injury stuff. I’m used to it all now. The biggest problem is that I tend to blot things out - like money - when I don’t have the mental capacity to deal with something. This resulted in the deeply upsetting incident when I came home to find someone waiting to remove my furniture to pay for the charges on being 2 months late with my council tax over a year ago - even though I paid the bloody thing off early in the end. It was quite frankly a fucking nightmare and I still don’t understand what was going on - they were lucky I had the cash in the bank (just) It cleaned me out. 

As soon as I get paid by anyone, presuming they do pay me (I am on my 2nd non payer of the year) the money has to go straight out again. I can’t work any harder than I already do. Project creep is an absolute killer at the moment - things that should take weeks are taking months. I’ve done a lot of very good work recently - it seems to be my main focus and the only thing I get much satisfaction from. Which is useful because it’s basically all I do.

One strange thing  - I had a birthday card from my oldest friend - except she died just over a year ago. She’d written them and arranged for her sister to send them. It was quite overwhelming and upsetting - but good at the same time.

I took the older dog to the vets and we had a long talk about his age (17 - ancient for a greyhound) - his general good physical health but declining mental health - his teeth and the small tumor in his jaw. We have decided to let him be for the time being - he’s never going to cope with aesthetic and he’s quite happy - there is no point in treating his cancer. He’s the human equivalent of about 90.

I’m really tied and run down - I need a break but I don’t have the time and I certainly can’t turn work down, 

I went to see ‘Angels In America - pt1’ broadcast live from the National Theatre at my local Odeon. It was superb. I hated the TV film version - but this was quite something. Andrew Garfield in particular. I would never have been able to afford to see this in London, so the broadcasts are a Godsend. Alas - it was ruined a bit by the awkward woman who insisted they show the 2 foot high subtitles throughout - the manager apologised and gave us all free tickets for part 2 next week - which saves my 15 quid and takes the edge off things.

I had an email conversation with the now former best friend of someone I went out with years ago who took a lot of money from me - seems like they have done the same again (and again and again). I’m amazed there is anyone left to bleed dry.

The weather has been very good but I haven’t done much cycling - It’s actually been too hot for me so I’ve avoided it - and I’m not feeling too energetic, but I could do with more exercise.

If you want to keep up with what I’m doing - I am on Instagram and I actually really like it (for a late adopter) but I don’t tweet much - it’s not a very good environment for me. I will try and keep up on here - but mostly I just feel like keeping my head down, the world is so messy at the moment - I don’t need to add to the chaos.

Sunday

Continuing my ‘back from the dead’ theme.

I went into work today - arrived at roughly 9am - eventually someone else came in to escape his whole family having norovirus. By about 1pm I’d decided I’d had enough and came home, then fell asleep for a couple of hours (I said I was run down). One of the things I had to do was start looking through the paperwork to move mortgages. I’d totally forgotten that I needed a passport or driving license. I have neither - and no credit cards. I was given a link to perform a personal credit check - it was scary how much they seemed to know about me (which was admittedly almost nothing - there isn’t much to know) so it came out as fairly average to ‘ok’. The whole process is really stressing me out. I used to be OK about things like this but now, post accident , I find myself really struggling with numbers and getting very intimidated by things that are not visual or out of my control. This evening I’m struggling to get my head around anything so I’m watching a film in the background. I have a meeting tomorrow with a client and I need him to be more structured - that’s going to be a fun conversation. I’m also hoping to get approval on stage 1 of something so that I can invoice for what I’ve already done - and need feedback from a client who ‘forgets’ to email. I also need to have a difficult conversation with a supplier who isn’t pulling their weight.

We have a couple of quite big gigs at The Printworks next week as the start of a live music season and on Sunday a local activist is holding a cross party all dayer to encourage people to get registered to vote, so it’s a busy time. Here’s the poster.

Additionally (and I SWEAR this will be the last feeble I ever do) I’ve done some work for Nicholas Wilson - who you may know as the whistleblower who exposed HSBC and a number of other financial institutions for fraud and other practices - he’s spent over a decade dealing with them at great cost to himself and is standing as an independent in the elections for Hastings and Rye against Amber Rudd. I’ve given him some advice on presentation and branded him - I’ll be doing his official election poster and leaflet too, I won’t vote for him - hardly anyone will - but he can seriously erode the Rudd vote if he gets the chance to make his case. Not everyone gets that and I honestly don’t care. He’s standing on the ‘ethical’ ticket - and I’m OK with that.

He insisted on my using his hat. Some people are funny like that

A bit about De Lange

Simon de Lange (not his real name - he made that up on a whim, even he didn’t know what it meant) was the friend who died about 10 days ago. He was 5 years older than me and originally from Hackney. He was a ‘character’ and had probably had far too much of the wrong kind of fun in 80’s London. Resulting in a spell in the Priory. He was able to replace his dependence on illegal pharmaceuticals later on by falling off a ladder and breaking his neck, leading to a lifetime dependence on morphine patches, made worse by an MRSI infection to the spinal column picked up in the local hospital. Over the last few years he had steadily declined - surviving on ice cream and red wine. He was a grafter, and a grifter. One time when I had a stall at a posh jumble he bought several items and I watched with some amusement as he slowly left the hall - and managed to sell everything he’d just bought for a profit to people entering. A few years ago he was on The Antiques Roadshow - he’s bought a large cache of revolutionary street posters in Cuba and wanted them valued. The expert was delighted by them and considered them quite valuable. So he sold them, only to be informed that they were contemporary copies - which lead to much grief and conflict locally - despite the BBC writing an earnest letter of apology to absolve him of anything underhand. When he died, his best friend from London was searching the flat to find his legendary strongbox and came across two loaded AK47’s under the bed that he was ‘looking after for a friend’ - the police were called and eventually declared them fakes - something that might have disappointed Simon. At one time he set himself up as a builder, restoring old houses and had a short career inflicting immense and irreparable damage to a string of listed buildings across the south coast. I don’t think he ever paid any of the fines. My favourite anecdote is about his complete horror of any kind of technology. When he bought an iPhone he find himself unable to use it, so whenever he wanted to post anything on Facebook - he’d wander back to the phone shop and demand that the staff post for him. Almost all his digital correspondence was a string of meaningless and disassociated emoticons. (A flower, an aubergine, two smiley faces and a kitten etc). He had apparently been dead for several days and was found by a friend who had been asked to investigate the smell. The cause of death was pneumonia. He was in appallingly bad physical shape but was still regularly requested to go to ATOS meetings to confirm that yes, having a broken neck - an untreatable spinal infection and the highest tolerance to opiates the hospital had ever seen were reason enough to be ‘on the sick’.  In a way - he has been spared a much worse fate as the damage to his spine was slowly robbing him of the use of his hands and feet and would continue until he wouldn’t have ben able to look after himself. He was funny, very random and very kind - and I liked him a lot.


PS - and I know it does seem that all I get to talk about these days is death - but as you may recall - my oldest friend died last year of Sarcoma - I have done a bit of design work with the charity Sarcoma UK and helped them with their 'big picnic' concept - the link is here - it would be fantastic if you could get involved in any way.

Back. Briefly.

I haven’t died or been abducted by aliens. I’ve just been really busy and distracted - trying to move things forward whilst dealing with all the shit that everyone wants to throw at me. Politics here and abroad are an absolute mess (except France - thank fuck for that).

I’ve been working my arse of, basically for less than minimum wage - working weekends to keep people happy. Generally that means people want me to work for free, or at least be on call 24 hours and complicit to the point of prostitution. I’m in the process of taking legal action over a non payer who is using thee of my brands to launch his businesses. I don’t need that.

I’m pretty tired and run down. Home isn’t much better. I’m trying to negotiate a new mortgage on my house when the current one expires in August - not as easy as it sounds as I have to try and generate money to repair the windows and front of the house - among other things. It’s a grim process.

A friend died suddenly about 10 dies ago. He was in poor health after an accident about 10 years ago (and an MRSI infection of the spine caught in hospital). His funeral is next week. I have two friends with terminal cancer and the nephew of one of my best friends was killed in a freak accident in Manchester last week. He was 18.

We have ‘issues’ with someone at work that is going to drag on for a few weeks and a supplier is really messing up. Most of the work I’m involved with is going really well, I’m on a roll - creatively - but the money is never enough. It’s really getting me down.

One of the reasons I haven’t written much is because I’m sure you’re all sick of the sound of my moaning.

I escaped from the studio to watch Alien: Covenant - which I honestly didn’t enjoy that much. I thought is was contrived, tried far too hard and a bit obvious. There was very little that was ‘new’ or inventive - it felt quite tired already. Perhaps it was just me.

The weather is getting better - I usually get into work at 7.30am top settle down and tune in before anyone else arrives. It makes a difference. I’m getting increasingly sick of people not acknowledging recipe of emails and artwork and general lack of any professionalism out there.

I’m really, really tired - I have to spend part of Sunday looking at the financial crisis I seem to have found myself in and wondering how to deal with it. I can’t actually think of anything nice to say - and the chaos of another General Election and associated fallout is already wearing very, very, thin. I bet you wish I hadn’t bothered.

As an aside - I’ve made friends with ‘Sue,The Benefits Superviser’ who was immortalised by Lucien Freud, a former well know war correspondent and a bloke who is usually in War Zones plucking diplomats off roofs while bullets whistle past his ears. Hastings. Still the capital of weird.